I’ve always had a problem in accepting that there are people whom I Love will Never approve my Love at all. I’m at my lowest when I’m in that zone.
These things confirm my belief that I’m not up to the mark, I don’t even know what that mark is. This self deprecating energy has caused a lot of lose in energy, money, time.
When all hell breaks lose, when I thought this is final blow in my cemetery, when I felt I had nothing to lose came liberation. The idea of abundance and self love.
Now I really feel that I’ve wasted many years in indulgence with sulking. The only shining spectacle is though is my love for my art form and the people around me. It may sound ironic but Love saved me from what I thought is Love.
The Love which the Abundance showed me, the abundant love that my people had for me. When I was abundantly rich and leading a pleasure life, I refused to recognise those things and was chasing something else. This realisation is the biggest take away.
I’m not sure how the life is going to be hereafter, it may be worse, it may be challenging, it may be lonely and boring but I’ve got the confidence that I’ll survive, cherish all those and come out breathing because I’ve seen the Joy of loving myself and living by being myself. There’s no external factors which made me happy, but I choose to be happy and I live happily and make my own World in that process.
This life fuelled with compassion and love is all I got and I better live that Life to the fullest with atmost respect and recognition that it deserves.